Last football season, a longtime friend in the coaching ministry sent us a newsletter about one of his pre-game pep talks. His audience was the underdog, and he used the story of David and Goliath.

As I read the details of the game that ensued, the triple overtime victory for the underdog, I realized that our friend had been pepping up our opponent! In my mind, he had preached against us, perhaps even prayed for our defeat and might as well have said, "I'm glad you lost in triple overtime!"

I was so upset and my emotions were so tangled that I could not be objective. Yes, we were the Goliath, and finished this season 12-2; however, the loss to this rival caused us to share the district title, instead of winning it outright.

As I read the newsletter, I knew that I could not show it to my husband, who didn't need to know of our friend's involvement against us. Then I thought, "I should write to our friend and tell him how painful it was to read."

Then I prayed, "Lord, show me what to think and do."  I knew if I did write to him, I would be making myself the issue and trying to make him feel guilty. I kept praying about it each time it came to mind, and God persuaded me to forgive and give it to Him.

The Holy Spirit had me give thanks for a godly man who would teach scripture to a team, to be happy for the other team's victory, and to be reminded that God is sovereign. He used that game for His glory  – for both teams. Through God's strength I moved past the newsletter and am so glad I did.

Last month our coaching ministry friend invited us to a coaches' banquet and seated us in a great place of respect and honor. He helped my husband arrange for a local businessman to bring an early morning Bible study to the coaches' office. That has blessed our staff in a great way. What if I had written that note?

Forgiveness is not just what happens to the other person, but also what happens in us. We are no longer that hardened play dough who rejects the lid of God's authority, but we are soft and moldable again.

When your husband wears the clothes you don't like, when his eating habits annoy you, when he fails to appreciate your sacrifices – these are the times when our feelings are prickly. We want to get in a word of advice, and sometimes sarcasm. If we can approach these times as a time to forgive, and ask forgiveness – Wow! What freedom!

FIDO – Forget It and Drive On!

Carolyn is the wife of Randy Allen, coach at Highland Park High School, Dallas, Texas