I screamed at the referee Friday night. I just couldn’t help it. He was throwing the flag on almost every play – mostly to our disadvantage. Unbelievably on this particular play, the ref’s flag remained in his pocket. His whistle had sounded three times, but still one of our opponents flew over the pile of players and hit our runner once again—

“LATE HIT!” I screamed. “LATE HIT! Get your flag and throw it NOW!”

My adrenaline seemed to pool in my chest. I am sure my face was red. My hands were shaking. The words just seemed to jump right out of my mouth and stand in the air between the referee and me.

(Before my husband was the head coach, I rarely displayed myself in this manner. I am really a “laid-back” person, mild-mannered and quiet. I even like to think of myself as “Victorian.” Victorian ladies do not scream at referees.)

I sat with a referee’s wife at some junior varsity games one time. She really did have it rough. No matter what her husband did, someone thought it was the wrong, stupid thing to do. One side or the other at some point in the evening hated that man, teased him, mocked him, screamed at him. The girls’ basketball coach stomped her foot and smirked at the referee. A player on the bench held his hands in circles around his eyes to signal that the ref needed glasses. People booed and hissed. The policeman posted at the end of the court even shook his finger at the ref. It was almost scary!  I wondered about sportsmanship.

At my infamous football game, I yelled out of (what I thought was) “motherly duty.” The other team’s players were hurting “my” kids. I yelled because I love my husband and I was watching him begin to despair at the constant penalties and mistakes of his team. I yelled because I am human, not always “Victorian”!

I had a speech planned in my head for the first person that might berate my husband within my hearing. I called it my “Spin, Draw and Shoot” speech. I hoped to be a like a marshal in an old western movie that spins on his heel as if he has eyes in the back of his head. He draws at lightning speed and guns the culprit down before the poor guy even knows what happened.

I am sure it isn’t a very nice speech. It contains scathing rhetoric designed to leave the worthiest opponent slack-jawed and humiliated. He is supposed to walk away in disgrace, tripping over a cup of hot coffee on his way back to his seat of shame.

Some daydream, huh?

Then I think about Jesus and the popular slogan: “What Would Jesus do?”

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Isn’t that sportsmanship? Love beyond measure; quiet submission in the face of disaster; strength with humility in victory; forgiveness to the unworthy. Wow!

—excerpted from Poems, Prayers and Peanut Butter: A Year of Encouragement for Coaches’ Wives. For information on how to order, contact Elizabeth at 1602 Silas, Sweetwater, TX 79556 or call 915-235-5829.

Elizabeth is the wife of Kent Jackson, Athletic Director and Head Football Coach at Sweetwater High School, Sweetwater, Texas.